emilieblogs

One-Five

emilieblogs — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 19:01:27 +0000

January fifth holds more significance to me than almost any other day of the year. On January fifth 2002, my now husband asked me out for the first time and, as we’d been friends for a pretty long time before then, the situation was cushioned by an understandable layer of uncertainty. We went for it, anyway, well knowing that badly timed dating has the potential to permanently ruin decent friendships. About six months later, he dumped me. (I KNOW. Don’t worry- we’re past that now.) And come the following winter, we reconciled and decided to give it another shot. On January fifth. But not intentionally on January fifth. Funny, no?

We were engaged a handful of months later, married the following January (not the fifth) and the rest, as they say, is history. Love and marriage and all that.

The fall and early winter of 2006 was an awful one for me. First, we lost our first baby at 13 weeks in September. We hadn’t expected or planned for a baby this early in our marriage, but warmed up to the idea pretty quickly- but it seemed that as soon as we were over the shock of the pregnancy, we received the news that our baby had stopped growing and that our pregnancy was nearing its end. For those of you who’ve been through this, you know that there’s really no more devastating feeling than the loss of a baby. It’s choke-it-back hard, and there’s no good way to deal with it. Almost immediately after our loss, my grandmother- who had been ill for some time- began to show signs of further declining health. The last conversation that I had with her before she passed was about our lost baby and, by the next time I saw her (weeks later), dementia had taken over and I wasn’t sure that she even knew exactly who I was. She passed away in early December and I remember driving home that evening, after waiting with our family in her home all day for her last moments, seeing a shooting star over the freeway near our home.

I guess that now is a good time for the shooting star tangent- but warning: it’s going to make me sound crazy.

I’ve seen shooting stars surrounding significant events in my adult life. I saw one the evening that I realized that I was in love with my awesome friend. I saw one in the midst of one of the most depressing, hurtful periods of my life. I saw one after my engagement. I saw one the night before my wedding. And I saw one on the way home from watching my grandmother leave.

A few months later, right after our first baby would have been due, I decided to get a shooting star tattooed on my upper back. My husband, being ever so supportive, suggested that I’d not be able to stand the pain and that I should schedule the black and white background first, and then schedule the finishing of the tattoo later. You know. Ease into it, right? So I get the tattoo (and, ahem, really Dear?) and schedule the appointment to complete it weeks later. Days before I’m due to head in for it, I realize that something’s feeling off. I pee on a stick. I’m pregnant. Ha!

So when you’re pregnant, the first thing that you do (obviously, right?) is hit the internet and pull up one of those little “Due Date Calculators”. My estimated due date is, of course January fifth. Our little 1-5er’s estimated conception date? The due date of our first baby. Tell me that God doesn’t have a sense of humor. Of course, though, everyone knows that babies don’t come on their estimated due dates- in fact, only five percent of babies come naturally (not via induction) on their EDDs. And an average first time mother gives birth at well over 41 weeks- so I wasn’t going to have my baby on January fifth. But it was funny still, you know?

So we can go ahead and fast forward to January fourth, 2007. A group of friends and I had been meeting weekly for coffee for a pretty long time and, seeing as how we were meeting the night before my EDD, they prayed for me and my impending labor. As soon (AS SOON) as their prayer was over and their hands were lifted off of me, my contractions began- perfectly spaced at five minutes apart from that moment until the next morning, when headed to the hospital in very obvious labor. And so, a few hours later, our little Elliott Holden was born…on January fifth.

I’ve always looked at Elliott as a confirmation that we’re on the right track, that we made the right decisions all of those years ago. And as a promise that, even in the middle of one of the most emotionally exhausting seasons of loss in my life, God had a much bigger plan for me and for us than I could have conjured up myself.

Our little Promise Baby is five years old today- the same day that our relationship arrives at decade status. It’s cool to call that a coincidence- I’ll call it amazing.

Love,

Emilie

So This Is The New Year

emilieblogs — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 22:22:43 +0000

Twenty-twelve. Holy wow.

I’ve never been big on new year’s resolutions, mostly as a cop-out. If I don’t make any, I can’t break any- am I right? But I’m thinking about giving it a try this year. It’s a biggish year, anyway, being my thirtieth and all. So here goes:

I resolve to read two books a month. Something about having young children has lent me to convenience reading, mostly blogs and on-line news articles and such…but I used to be (and really, still am) a complete book hound. Multiple books a week. For years. And in the past few years, I’ve only really read through books that I HAD to read. So in twenty-twelve, I resolve to read two books a month- both books that I actually want to read.

I resolve to make more. I’ve been working towards this for a long time, anyway- I already make most of our cleaning supplies and sew some cutesy items, but I want to further limit our convenience consumption.

I resolve to make time for myself. It may come as a surprise, but this stay at home mom gig can get to be pretty consuming, and I wind up justifying the fact that I don’t take much time for myself by counting things like a few minutes on Facebook and taking showers as “me time”.

I resolve to be grateful more, and to let it be known. Little things, like dropping a thankful email when I have a good experience at a store or telling my husband and my children how much I appreciate them- I’d like to pay more attention to the little details that really mean something to someone.

I resolve to go easier on myself. No further explanation necessary, right?

Love,

Emilie

Thankfully Thursday

emilieblogs — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 19:57:18 +0000

616. I’m thankful, in the midst of this chaotic week, for the fifteen minutes of peace that I have to nurse my littlest baby down to sleep every afternoon.

617. Today, specifically, I’m thankful for the over-lap of the children’s naps. At the moment, they’re all asleep- although, surely, one will be up and running soon.

618. Relatedly, I’m thankful for the Christmas Ale that Jeremy has stashed in the refrigerator. I’m not sorry that there’s now one less than there was an hour ago.

619. I’m thankful for this little boy, and for the joy that came with the loss of his very first tooth this week. Suddenly, it feels like that bridge from “little boy” to “BOY” has been crossed.

620. Likewise, I’m thankful for this little boy- not quite as big as his brother, but definitely no longer the baby…our perfect middle ground.

621. I’m so, so thankful that whatever virus that I seemed to have yesterday, stayed in the yesterday. What a terrible scare it was to think of all of the Christmas-things that I still have to get done, while overwhelmed by fluishness. Yuck.

622. I’m thankful for my husband who picked up the slack for my sick day, spending his lunch break picking up Christmas presents that I was unable to shop for yesterday.

623. I’m thankful for the fact that I was able to be on-the-ball this year, and rented a location to host a birthday party for my soon three-and-five year olds. Christmas always seems to take presidence and before I know it, we’re out of time. There will be a party this year, and the boys have had so much fun coming up with ideas for their Super-Hero Costume Hurrah.

624. I’m thankful for the entire week off that we’ll have as a family before Jeremy starts his new job in the new year. What a sweet end to 2011, having that small relaxation together. And perhaps a trip to Ikea.

625. I’m thankful, since I likely won’t update before it’s over, that 2011 was such an overwhelmingly great year- full of answered prayers and over flowing with blessings.

Love,

Emilie

Make Something Monday

emilieblogs — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 00:45:20 +0000

I threw together this sweet little vintage- inspired wrap dress for Hazel, just to see if I could. It was only about half as difficult as I thought that it’d be, and comes with the perk of being able to grow with her from a dress into a top…and it’s also reversible! I’m loving on it a bit.

Side A is a retro floral print called “Day Dream Believer”:

Side B is a simple floral (cherry blossoms?) with an orange that matches side A, tying in the binding that I used for the trim.

If the little lady is less crabby tomorrow, maybe we can get a shot of her wearing it.

Love,
Emilie

They’re Here

emilieblogs — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 03:03:30 +0000

The thirties, that is.

The twenties seemed to fly by, so I’m feeling a tiny bit apprehensive about the next decade and how it’s sure to do the same.
In the past (very short) ten years, I’ve learned that blood is not always thicker than water.
I’ve learned that real love tends to show up in the least likely places.
I’ve learned that rock bottom isn’t as bad as you’d think it would be, because it means that there’s light if you’d just bring yourself to look up.
I’ve participated in almost eight years of a marriage that is so, so amazing that I have to constantly remind myself that I’m really freaking blessed.
I’ve been gifted three of the most beautiful children who’ve ever licked dirt off of this planet.
I’ve felt the heart break that comes with pregnancy ended too shortly.
I’ve learned that forgiveness isn’t a one time deal, but that it’s an active choice.
I’ve learned how to cook. Like, stuff that people can eat. And then not die.
I’ve received undeserved grace, time and time again.
I’ve had the eye opening experience of feeling a call on my life at age twenty, and seeing it fall into place around me at age twenty eight.
I’ve felt the precious humility that comes with finally asking for prayer, and then immediately seeing that prayer answered.

It’s been a good decade…but the next one is where I get to see my children grow (into adolescence!!! Holy cow.), where I get to move into my second decade of marriage, where I get to see what other amazing ways that I get to stretch and learn and grow. I’m pretty excited.

And also, maybe I won’t get carded for beer any more.

Thirty? Why, you don’t look a day over twenty-nine.

Love,
Emilie

Blessing, Curse

emilieblogs — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 03:55:58 +0000

Food allergies (or sensitivities or whatever. Whichever.) are officially the bane of my existance (I’m allowed a bit of drama, ok?) They’re nothing new, really- something that all of our kids have touched on at one point or another. For Elliott, it was hours of gas pain at night brought on by a dairy sensitivity (out grown by 18 months, thank goodness). For Myles, it was the mystery rash that was finally narrowed down to bananas (and then mango, kiwi, pineapple, avocado.) He, at almost three years old, has not out grown his allergy- and I’m starting to think that- poor kid- he won’t. But Hazel- Hazel is the baby that’s giving me a run for my money. She has every recognizable sign of a food allergy, and no matter what I cut, her symptoms only get about 75% better before they get worse again. And elimination diets? They’re not fun- especially when you’re prone to forgetting to eat in the first place, most days. Last week, I consumed not a speck of dairy, beef, wheat, soy, or eggs. Which is mostly everything in our kitchen, save for rice, lentils, and sone assorted veggies. By day four, her symptoms were 80% better again…and I was starving. At my low point, I ruined the last of our rice the afternoon before grocery day and cried. Over plain rice.
Also (brace yourselves)…I cut coffee a few weeks ago, in hopes that it was the miracle cure- again, 80% better and then worse. Cycle, cycle, exhausting cycle. (FYI- if this isn’t figured out soon, coffee and I will totes be reuniting. Because I have needs. For real.)
But honestly, as much of a pain as it us and as it has been to figure this out for my little girl- it’s a million times worth it. I mean…what a blessing it is to know that with a few eventual tweaks to my diet, my body is completely capable of customizing the exact nutrition that my exact child needs to continue to thrive. The entire process still blows my mind.
So…you know. Today’s curse is one step closer to being tomorrow’s blessing. As long as, in the end, it really isn’t coffee.

Love,
Emilie

Two!

emilieblogs — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 03:44:38 +0000

Cloth diaper credit: Blueberry One Size Minky Pocket Diaper in Raspberry Truffle.

Hazel Jane is two months old!

She smiles and laughs and smiles a lot more.

She rolls from her back to her front, but not yet from her front to her back.

She adores her big brothers, and lights up when they sit on the floor with her and talk in their little high pitched “this is how you talk to a baby” voices. They also “read” her There’s A Wocket In My Pocket a bajillion times a day, which makes me smile even when she’s less amused.

She seems to have a soft spot for men with guitars. I’m working on how I feel about this…but for the time being, it helps during scream-fest car rides.

She’s flying through those baby clothes…we had to pull out her six month clothes at seven weeks, and I found myself preparing the nine monthers the other day. I have a feeling that they’re not far off.

She weighed in at 14lb 4oz and measured an even 24in long at her two month check up, putting her a couple of pounds ahead of her brothers at the same age and floating somwhere between the 99th and 100th percentiles for her age.

She’s also teething already, which makes me weirdly sad- all of these little baby milestones seem to be speeding past us this time. I promised that I’d savor them, and they still insist on speeding by.

Love,

Emilie

Not Gone

emilieblogs — Thu, 29 Sep 2011 03:00:57 +0000

The blogging (and internetting in general, really) has been a bit on the slow side lately. The living? The mothering? The being? Not so much. The dull moments are pretty few and far between over here, and the lazy ones are dispersed by the fact that my laptop is apparently residing in electronic purgatory- not quite here, not quite gone. Just stuck. (More specifically, stuck on a frozen intro screen. And that’s all. Just “Hello, I’m your laptop- and this intro screen is as far as we’re going to get today. And maybe forever.”)

While I’ve been all busy living life and not telling you all about it, though, everything’s been pretty awesome. My little boys are crazy and crazier, and also tall and taller. Little Hazel Jane is ten weeks old (FOR REAL. I KNOW.) and is pretty much the most delightful baby ever. Also? It’s fall. So I’m drinking a lot of coffee and knitting lots of things out of wool and sewing (oh, the sewing) and then drinking some more coffee and being totally, absolutely in my element. Because I love (Seriously. Love.) fall. I do.

I’d conclude this rather bland post with a few new photos of my awesome kids…but my camera is broken, too (Which seriously sucks! We have a new baby, and I want to take pictures of her every second…because she grows another ounce or so every day.) Also, my phone stopped turning on four days ago- so I probably need your number again. I feel like all of my technology was recently raptured. I’m thinking about just drawing pictures of our family on our walls with charred sticks or something, and training up a few carrier pigeons to do all of my communicating for me. (Carrier pigeons don’t lose their ability to fend for themselves, right? Like if I forgot to feed them? They’d still be able to go find themselves pigeon food somewhere? I’d probably hate myself if I killed the pigeon like I apparently have all of my technological advancements.)

Love,

Emilie

Thankfully, Thursday

emilieblogs — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 13:19:37 +0000

606. I’m thankful for the little boys, the same ones who start so many mornings on the “wrong side of the bed” and bicker halfway until lunch time, reading Mr. Brown Can Moo, Can You? together on the sofa right now.

607. I’m thankful for our little girl who woke me this morning with sweet coos and beautiful smiles and warm snuggles. I love co-sleeping. Love it, love it, love it.

608. I’m thankful for late summer thunderstorms and midnight breezes through our windows.

609. I’m thankful for chaos-free (ahem…boy free) trips to Target. Also? So freaking thankful that Target feels the need to clearance out of awesome stuff at 75% off all the time. Scored $20 worth of super-cool home-preschooling Kumon wipe off flash cards for less than $5, and the boys are going to love them.

610. I’m thankful that my husband has the chance to sneak in random vacation days here and there, giving us the extra treat of an unexpected four day weekend with him.

611. I’m thankful for fabulous friends, and out pouring of love. And amazing dinners. And beautiful photos of our little baby girl.

612. I’m thankful for the promise of near autumnal temperatures next week.

613. I’m thankful that my hair hasn’t followed its normal post-partum routine yet. And by that I mean that, Hey! I still have hair! I thought that I’d have to cut it off by now.

614. I’m thankful for the three skeins of deep plum colored 100% merino wool that I bought with a gift card to a local yarn shop last spring, just sitting in wait all summer for when the knitting urge would hit around Labor Day. It’s here, and I’m going to make myself something pretty.

615. I’m thankful that I have so many things to be thankful for. Six hundred and fifteen of them? I’m so amazingly blessed.

Love,

Emilie

Pin Of The Week

emilieblogs — Sun, 28 Aug 2011 19:39:43 +0000

Beautiful Things

It's still technically summer, but the days are winding down and knitting season is here. I'm promising to make something for myself this year, in addition to the little people who I tend to spend all of my knitting energy on.

Delicious

Pumpkin spice syrup- dairy free!!! Now Hazel and I can have matching happy tummies.

For My Love

Truth. Raw truth.

For Hazel

Someone's little hands are starting to get grabby...I'm searching for a bit of autumnal inspiration for a new nursing necklace to keep her busy and her little fingers out of my hair.

For Elliott

Home-preschooling is in full swing, and I love little hands-on lessons like this for my little kinesthetic learner.

For Myles

Or, more specifically, your brother. Because being two is TOUGH.

Love,

Emilie